You don’t need a GoFundMe.

You need a folding table, a purpose, and this playbook.

Get Funded, Not F*ck’d is the field guide for people who are done waiting, tired of begging, and ready to raise real money—without losing their soul (or their dignity).

This isn’t motivational fluff. It’s a crowbar for broke builders, brand starters, scrappy creators, and anyone trying to launch something real without a trust fund or TikTok following.

Inside, you’ll get:

• The hard truth about why no one cares about your product (and how to fix that)
• Why crowdfunding platforms are a waste of time (unless you already have a crowd)
• How to ask for money without apology, guilt, or awkwardness
• A proven 5-day promo plan that actually works
• Day-of strategy, post-event momentum tips, and ready-to-use tools

Also included:

✅ Editable flyer

✅ Volunteer cheat sheet

✅ Revenue tracking spreadsheet

✅ Copy-paste captions and ask scripts

Whether you’re trying to launch a product, fund a mission, or just prove to yourself you can actually do this—this playbook will show you how.

Use it. Run it. Raise the money. Then teach someone else.

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